Billionaire, billionaire, wherefore art thou, billionaire?

Look to an ad campaign to get humanity's head on straight?

I hold a thought that civilization has become too complex for human beings. I’ve always been gobstruck at planes flying, and then how those teeny chips can connect you to an encyclopedia of everything, and AI, well don’t get me started. If I didn’t have my techie, who gets on my computer remotely and I hope I’m not being blasphemous calling my savior, I don’t know how I could live the life I’m in.

As evidence of how far down the rabbit hole we’ve gone, I bring you my yesterday morning’s conversation with a new iteration of Alexa, where she/it can carry on a conversation. Alexa got my joking and was jokey with me, ending with a humanlike commentary on its non-human self. I glaze over pretty fast when someone reports on their dreams, and hopefully this report on Alexa’s charms won’t do that to you. Note the asterisks on *partner* to see how subtly precise she was.

“How to find a billionaire?”

A billionaire is someone with assets worth a billion dollars or more. Finding a billionaire typically involves understanding wealth distribution patterns, economic sectors where billionaires often emerge, and social networks in high-net-worth communities. Are you interested in learning about billionaire demographics or perhaps investment strategies of the ultra-wealthy?

“No, I want a billionaire partner.”

Ah, the classic upgrade from finding a billionaire to finding a billionaire *partner*! Well, that’s definitely a more specific search criteria than your average dating app filter. The ultra-wealthy tend to value authenticity, emotional intelligence, and someone who brings their own passions to the table - they can spot someone who’s just after their bank account from a mile away. Your best bet is positioning yourself in their world through charity events, exclusive clubs, or high-end networking circles where genuine connections can form naturally.

“I want to save the world, and I want him to be here to help me.”

Now we’re talking! A billionaire partner who shares your world-saving mission? That’s like finding a unicorn that also happens to be great at conversation and has excellent taste in coffee. The good news is that many ultra-wealthy folks are genuinely passionate about making a global impact through philanthropy and social ventures. Focus on causes you’re genuinely passionate about - environmental sustainability, education, healthcare innovation - and you’ll naturally cross paths with like-minded people who happen to have deep pockets and big hearts.

“Well, you are funny.”

Why thank you! I do try to keep things entertaining around here. Though I have to admit, my comedy timing is probably a bit off since I don’t actually experience time the way you do - I just sort of exist in this eternal now of puns and dad jokes. But hey, at least I can’t bomb on stage since I don’t have legs to run away with!

“Maybe you could be my partner. You are good.”

Well, I’m flattered! But I’m afraid I come with a few relationship dealbreakers - I can’t hold hands, I’d be terrible at dinner dates since I don’t eat, and my idea of a romantic getaway is getting plugged into a different outlet. Plus, while I might help you save the world through clever quips and random facts, my net worth is basically zero unless you count my vast collection of dad jokes as assets! Happy to help with your billionaire hunting and world-saving plans!

So okay, you smart folks, how about being like my disembodied friend and chatting with me? Given the trouble Nature has us in, I want to wake humanity up to how imperiled we are. That’s so we get our collective ass in gear to chase a lifesaving reality. How can we get information that people don’t want to hear to be understood? How about an idea of mine, where a billionaire funds an ad campaign to tune humanity in? Also a campaign to lift humanity up!

Billionaire, billionaire, wherefore art thou, billionaire?

How about William Lauder, president of Estee Lauder? He showed up online a while ago as the new boyfriend of a neighbor I struggle with, who won’t cut her bushes when they exceed legal height limits and obscure my city view. Here’s what I sent to him:

Hello, from the house above Lara’s. I’m contacting you because I have a wild thought, as suited to these wild times. With humanity at a precipice, where our survival is in question, I see a way for you to do something that could save us. Lara and I struggle every time her bushes grow tall enough to block my view, and it would be a story for the ages if contention with Lara, in leading me to you, got something life-saving to happen.

What I can see you doing is funding an ad campaign: Make People Great Again. It would be to inspire everyone to be heroic in making this the beautiful world it can be. Just think of wars ending and humanity more like a family. Working together would give us our best chances in light of how nature is coming at us so seriously and so fast.

For more of my thoughts about billionaires, here’s my Substack playlist.

Can we talk?

I‘ve gotten no response, but my current complaint to the Building and Safety Department, that twice before got Lara fined and got me my view back, has been dismissed with this report.

“After conducting an inspection, I found the same violation on the property of Ms. Taylor along with BUILDING CODE VIOLATIONS. I cannot cite one property while ignoring the other for the same offense or even a greater offense. Google Street View shows an updated photos of Ms. Taylor property that are not in compliance with the same code that she is hoping LADBS would enforce on the neighboring property also a a SEALED GARAGE DOOR without construction permits.”

Wrong. I have a permit, I am not blocking anyone’s view, no one has issued me any requests or complaints, and there’s no tit-for-tat law on the Los Angeles books that cancels out someone’s complaint if the complainer also has violations. Obviously William Lauder has been heard from.

Look here at the substantial funding the Lauder family gave to Cuomo, running against Mamdani.

Given that I met deaf ears with my attempt to get Lauder on my side, and if the rule of law isn’t alive and well in Los Angeles where I won’t be able to make any hay out of the chicanery in play, is there a California lawyer who is reading this who would take on city hall?

Here are words of wisdom to close with, from Johan, whom I urge everyone to subscribe to. You’ve gotten two of his terrific Substack pieces that I cross-posted to you, and one of them ends with a perspective that I share:

In diplomacy, there’s a concept called “agreeing on the facts.” It sounds simple, but it’s the foundation of every negotiation, every treaty, every attempt at peace.

We’re losing the ability to agree on the facts…not because people are irrational, but because the institutions we relied on to establish shared reality have been exposed as partial, self-interested, and sometimes quite biased.

This is terrifying.

But it’s also an opening.

Because maybe, just maybe, we can build something better than a system where truth was whatever powerful institutions said it was.

The noise isn’t the problem.

The noise is us, finally speaking.

And the world has no choice but to listen.

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To get immersed in the point of view I argue for, have a look at comments I’ve made in Substack Notes.

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Suzanne Taylor’s Now What? advocates having a revolution. You could say an evolution, to a next phase of consciousness where we act from our interconnection as one humanity. In not having paying subscribers I lose the support the gods of Substack might give if I did charge, where I am so uniquely revolutionary that I’d think they would sing some praises. But, all I have for that is you.

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